This winter has been brutally harsh, which is bad for everything except one, the skiing has been fantastic. Earlier in January after a bunch of snow I looked at the weather forecast. It was going to be raining on the weekend :(. So what did I do, I yanked my son out of school for the day and we went skiing. A wonderful day, but it seemed to really tire him out. After about 6 hours of skiing he was done. I was a little disappointed that he didn't want to ski a bunch more, but we had a great day so we just went home.
A couple of weeks after that was the weekend of a Scout Camp. He and the rest of the scout troop was going camping in the winter. I drove through a hellish snow storm Friday night to get him and his friends to camp. It was wonderful in the camp however, I was sure he was going to have a great time. Instead we got a phone call from the leader, he wasn't feeling well and was refusing to participate. Again I drove through horrible snow to get there, to find him acting lazy and spoiling the enjoyment others were having with his down attitude. I did not hide my disappointment in him and when we got home, I made him shovel the driveway alone. The next day we went skiing (the first of four weekly lessons), after about four hours he was exhausted and we went home.
The following week was another ski lesson day. We packed up, went skiing, I bought a four hour pass. After his lesson he went into the chalet. Through some miscommunication I couldn't find him. I spent an hour searching for him, including driving home and back, trying to figure out where he was. I found him head down in the chalet refusing to go skiing again. Again, my disappointment was not hidden. I was more than a little mad at him.
Why was my son refusing to participate in activities. No matter how much I tried to give him fun things to do, he was determined to act tired and refuse to have fun.
The following weekend we were in the hospital, and learning that through all that time his body was unable to process sugar, he was effectively starving. His body was turning his blood into acid and other horrible things were happening. He was dying as I was yelling at him. It was not his fault, I should have seen what was wrong with him.
Someday I will make it up to my son. But for now I have to hurt him over and over again giving him shots and taking blood tests.
I am a failure as a father. My son deserves better.
I am so sorry.
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